i am not going to france. just so you all know. all 3 of you.

good day,
FF

I seem to have gotten myself in to. Last month, nearing the end of the run for "Nightmare Before Christmas" at Center Stage, Stacy (the director/owner) asked if I'd like to be in "The Last Five Years". I reeeeeeallly wanted to be in it but just a few days before, the director of the show I did with EPCC called and asked me to do a show with her. I was reluctant to do any of the shows because I knew I would have a pretty busy schedule in the coming semester in order to be ready for France in the fall (!!!). I informed the EPCC director that I couldn't do her show for that very reason. When Stacy asked me if I wanted to be in her show, I was so conflicted because I wanted to do the show so badly (it was the show I would have done had I not gotten kicked out just a year and a half earlier) but had already told someone else I couldn't do their show because of school. Both shows, by the way, would have been rehearsing and performing around the same time. I told Stacy, after thinking it through, that I couldn't do the show for two reasons: 1] I was expecting a very busy semester and I don't think I would have the time to dedicate to rehearsing for a 2 hour, non-stop singing, emotionally-draining show and 2] I already told the other director I couldn't do the show with her and it would be wrong of me to do another show, going against what I told the other director. That would have made me a liar and I won't have that. :-) So now, I dropped by rehearsal (not just because they asked me to but I wanted to see everyone) and I really want to do the show now. I know, I know.......I know what you told me Dalit, "you know you're gonna end up doing it anyway, yadda, yadda, yadda...". And you're probably right, even though I said "Nightmare" would be my last show, I can't help but want to do this show. If not just to finally be able to perform it after learning it all the first time and then abruptly getting kicked out, but also for the show. Its a great show. Its very emotional and yet heart warming. Its sad but so real too. If I did do the show, it would only be one or two performances. Its just a 2 person show and there are quite a few pairs doing it so I would do a couple of shows. I know I really shouldn't do it. But I'd be done with it by the 3rd week of school if not sooner. The other show would have taken me well into the first week of March. Its against my morals. I can't tell one person one thing and turn around and do the exact opposite. Its wrong. But then again, aren't rules sometimes meant to be broken??

Should I flip a coin????
FF
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