As flat as they day I bought it. It has never been filled with ANYTHING. My family has never been reeeeeally in to the whole "traditional" christmas so I resent all those christmas movies putting ideas in my head of what it should be like. My Christmas has usually consisted of between 1-3 gifts of average quality. Sweaters, colognes, some kind of entertainment thing (vhs, dvd, cd, etc). I hate to be so "un-humble" here but I'm really ticked off and I need to vent.I spent a lot of money this year on christmas gifts. Money that I really shouldn't have been spending but I don't like to think that people are going without christmas gifts or that they feel "left out" if they didn't get anything. I donated between 60-70 to ONE PERSON, truly out of the kindness of my heart because I would have preferred to sell them but I know that this guy needed the clothes more than I needed the money. I do good things. I am a good person. When is the universe gonna return the favor??!! When is this 'karma' crap gonna kick in?! I know I shouldn't expect anything but seriously!!! Its about freakin time already!!! I got 250 dollars for christmas this year. And a dvd from my brother. The 250 came from my mother for the sole purpose of "getting me out of christmas debt". She just paid me for her new iPod. Fantastic. The dvd is a USED one. I suppose it IS the thought that counts and it was very nice of my brother and my mother to at least remember to get me something. I always give and give and give and I never really expect things in return but IT WOULD BE NICE!!!! My mom couldn't even get me a heartfelt card. She used the same generic one that she mailed out this year. How do you think that makes me feel?! On monday, my mom asked me to do her christmas shopping for her. I bought (on behalf of my mother)for my older brother a new BlackBerry Curve, my younger brother a new Sony GPS system and I, myself, bought them -in addition to what gifts I had already purchased for them- all the accessories for their new gadgets. They had plenty of gifts to open, stockings stuffed, I even bought everyone their own brand new, personalized-by-me travel coffee mug and all I got was 250 cash in a "no-thought-was-put-into-this" generic holiday card and a used dvd. But its the thought that counts, really. There is not doubt that when I make my credit card payment this month, along with the $250, I will be able to pay off one credit card in total but I would like to know that a little more thought was put into my gift. I didn't ask for anything this year because I don't need anything. It give me pleasure to make others happy. But if you are going to get me gift, make it count. I do!!!!! Time and time again, I do my best to make it count. My mom mentioned in june that she would like to get an iPod. I remembered that and what did I get her for christmas?! An iPod!!!! Whatever. I'm tired right now and I have a TON of other things on my mind. Dalit hasn't called me back in like 4 days and my therapist is out of town til January 7th. I'm going crazy here!!!! I need a vacay.

Merry Freakin' Christmas.
FF
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile

My back hurts. Since yesterday afternoon. I was awake half the night in pain and with uncontrollable itching (thanks to the codeine). This morning, not only am I moving about like an old man in pain, but I also feel like may just blow chunks at any moment. Those damn painkillers make me feel ridiculously hungover. I'm gald I didn't spew in my moms car though. I think I just need to eat something. But who knows, I'm sitting in a doctors office right now, waiting to be called in, and there is no food. I just wanna get back in my bed and do nothing all day!!! I feel like an 80 year old man. I'm only 23!! Why is this happening?! Anywho, I have my first final today at 1 and hopefully by then I'll be feeling better so I can concentrate on my test and not worry about my back. I have been here for almost an hour and not one single person has been called in. Whay is this taking so long?! I told the receptionist that the doctor was a friend of ours so hopefully she'll bump me up on the list even though there were only a couple of people waiting when I got here. Well, obviously todays blog was just for me to vent a little about my back. I know I haven't written in a while and I just don't know why. Anywho, enjoy this one, as it is possible that it may be a while til the next one.

Peace, Love & Painkillers,
FF
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile