Where do I start with this one?? I guess I'll backtrack a couple of days so I can give you a bit more insight as to what is happening. A few days ago, my father and I cooked. In the kitchen. With real food. I.E. My dad and I did something normal together! It was weird. It wasn't a situation like when my dad and I normally are in the kitchen together ["farzad, (insert command here)!!!!x10] but it was more like "let me show you how to make this dish". VERY out of the ordinary. I actually really learned how to make persian rice and these little meatballs and it was cool. That's the end of that. Let's get the optimistic look out of our eyes and cut to today, I came home early [I didn't go to work since I had an orthodontist appt and school all day] and I made dinner. I made penne pasta with a tomato-cream cheese sauce that had fresh tomatoes, onion, garlic, oregano, basil, redpeppers, etc. And also shrimp. It came out really good (I think). As soon as my dad heard that I made dinner, I feel like he immediately started to have a sour attitude about it. I wasn't too keen on it at first but when he saw the plate and asked "what's this?" with that "you-expect-me-to-eat-that" tone and a "make-me-something-better" look, I knew I was about to turn in to effing Mt. Vesuvius up in this motha'! . Before even tasting it, he piled on more pasta. You would think that that would be a good thing, right?! WRONG!!! He took one bite.......and then another..........and one more before I asked him what he thought. Want to know what he said?? First there was a grunt and then this......."Its eatable, I guess". WHAT THE ****?!?! Did he reeeealllly just say that to me. I don't know about you but that was like a MAY-JAH insult. I would have so preferred that he told me what the dish needed or how I could have improved on it but no. "Its eatable" was all I got. Actually, I lie. That wasn't his only response to it. About 20 minutes later [after he ate the entire serving] he came to my room and asked me to make him a sandwich. I told him "why do you want a sandwich? You just ate all that pasta" he said "I didn't like that pasta. Go make me a sandwich" [Take a few minutes and then close your mouth........I was in as much shock as you are]. Seriously??! Seriously. SERIOUSLY?!? Oh no you di-dnt!! Yo nigga Far-Shniqua's 'bout to roll up in here and drop a house on yo ungrateful, wicked behind! Who da heeelllll does he think he is? Dissin me and then expecting me to make him a sandwich? Nigga please! Needless to say,I told him no. For two reasons: 1) ummmm, you just told me you hated the dinner I already prepared for you and 2) you just ate a HUGE portion of pasta that was just "eatable" and you STILL want a sandwich? Back it up, Chunk. Ya don't neeeeeed no mo' food. So there's is the story concerning the progress in getting my dad to let me go to culinary school. How do you think its coming along?

Sweet Dreams Bitches,
FF
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And its absolutely not something that I do purposefully. It is completely unintentional and only due to my airhead-ness. I ALWAYS forget to give people pictures. Why!? I always say "yeah, I'm gonna put them on my computer and I'll email then to you" but I never do. Its truly just because I forget. It always slips my mind. I can't even begin to guess how long its been that naomi has been asking me for some pictures that I have. Honestly, I don't even remember which pictures she wants. My dad has been asking me to see the pictures from our recent trip to Scottsdale but I keep forgetting to show them to him. So if you're out there thinkin "what happened to those pictures Farzad was supposed to give me?", remember, you are friends with an idiot. Its ok. You brought it on yourself. You didn't have to be nice to me but you were. So thanks for sticking by me even though I'm no genius. The hamsters on that little bitty wheel in my head need to get to steppin cuz I'm processing really slow. Run hamsters, run!!!!!

Huh?,
FF
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So my mom, the farsh and I decided to take a little mini-vacay to scottsdale last week. It was truly a spur of the moment kind of thing. On tuesday we thought about it, on wednesday we booked the hotel and on thursday we rolled out!! It was a lot of fun and my mom and I had a "hidden agenda" when we left. We went to see the school I want to go to......the Scottsdale Culinary Institute! Now, nothing is official but I have applied and I just really need to convince my dad about letting me go. If he doesn't, I fully intend to procure my own funding and finally study what I want to!! I want to keep this all kind of "hush-hush" because I don't want the same thing to happen this time as has happened in the past. Every time I've been close to going to a school I want to go to (i.e. I can literally smell the future) it doesn't happen for me due to some unforeseen circumstance. Usually my dad. I feel like maybe people think I'm just "all talk, no action". But really I'm all action! I'm always ready to go but for some reason I respect my dad so much that I feel like I can't go anywhere or make any life decisions without his blessing. I know you may think "if he wants to keep it hush hush, why is he writing about it on his blog........which happens to be on the internet.......which lots of people can easily find by searching through blogs?" The answer is this......because I effing feel like it. Its my blog and imma write what I want to! Plus, I don't really think that many people read my blog. And hopefully, whoever does will be considerate enough to keep quiet.

Ssshhhhhhh,
FF
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I'm in Scottsdale and I have been here since Thursday. I am blogging from my computer because I'm bored. I am going to take a shower now because we were in Sedona all day and I feel gross. It was hot and I was all gross and sweaty. I just thought you'd like to know whats going on with me. :)

chop, 

FF

I will not, I repeat NOT, be blogging for the next few days. I do not
have my blackberry and I am using an iPhone. I HATE the typing on this
thing! I should be getting my baby back by Tuesday night. I sent my
AfricanAmericanBerry to get custom painted. It's coming back to me in
a lovely shade of white. I'll post pictures of it when it returns.
Have a lovely day!

FF

Sent from my iPhone

You know, I keep wanting to continue reading "Son of a Witch" by Gregory Maguire, author of "Wicked", but I keep getting distracted by the urge to blog. This one feels quite strange to write but I feel very unstable right now. I feel like I am at a gigantic fork in the road. I know of about 4 general areas of interest that I would love to either study or immediately begin working in but I don't know which one to choose and I can't do all of them. I mean, I'm sure I could do all of them but it would be an insane amount of responsibility to take on. Maybe I need to take a week or two, completely alone, and think about what I want to do with my life. Let me tell you of my 4 general areas of interest. Please be advised that it is quite possible for more to randomly appear on the list.

1. Culinary- this includes everything from cooking, baking, opening restaurants, going to culinary school, etc.
2. Entertainment- I love to perform. I'd love to get paid for it. That's just me. The entertainer.
3. Journalism- its always something I've been interested in and with the help of this blog, I've realized that it may be possible for me to have a bit of a future in some kind of journalism. After all, my first major was advertising and communications.
4. Clothing- I know this is one that I don't talk about very much but come on, like you couldn't tell I was in to fashion. I have always had a secret dream to be the Style Guy at GQ. Or the editor. ;-)
5. Taking over my dads business...............HA!!!!! Fooled ya! HeeHeeHeeHee!!!!

So there you have it. I am taking suggestions, advice, comments, etc. Since I have nothing else to do, I suppose I could go into further detail about each of the main points.

1. Culinary arts is something that has always captivated me. I not only have an urge to always eat, but I also want to know where my food comes from, how its made and what are the possibilities for change in the kitchen. I remember the first time I really baked anything. Picture it, Juarez, 1990. I was five years old. My Aunt Jazmin invited me to accompany her to a friends house to bake a cake. I was staying with my aunt and my Grandma for the weekend in Juarez and was excited to see what we were baking. We arrived at the house of Anita, my aunts friend. It was a small cozy house, very dark but not grim. The kitchen couldn't have been bigger than a hotel restroom but already I couldn't wait to whip something up. We were going to bake a chocolate cake. Boxed cake mix, nothing fancy. They asked if I would like to crack the eggs. I was scared yet more than willing to do it. I had never cracked an egg before. I wasn't really even sure what the inside of an egg looked like. I was only 5 years old, they were kind enough to even let me hang out with them in the kitchen let alone participate. I don't really remember that much but when the egg cracked open, I was captivated by what I saw. Brilliant yellow, clear gooey stuff. It was so cool!! We continued through the remaining steps of baking a cake from a box but I was still so mesmerized by the cracking of the egg that I couldn't concentrate on what else was going on. I'm almost positive that it was from that moment that I knew I wanted to cook. I may have only been five years old, but it is one of my clearest, most fond memories from my childhood.

2. I'm a leo and although I don't really follow horoscopes and zodiac mumbo jumbo, I've always been told that leo's always like to be the center of attention. I'm not gonna lie. I like attention. I really like performing too. I did my first commercial at the age of 11 with just a few more after that one, all the way up until I was 19 when I did a radio commercial. I participated in the childrens theatre group "kids-n-co" and even assisted in the drama classes at summer camp. Recently, I performed with local community theatre "Center Stage El Paso". And after that, one show with EPCC. I had an absolute fantastic time at both places. Every night on stage was a new show. Nothing was done exactly the same twice. There is a certain rush and high you get from knowing that people are watching your every move. Some even admiring your work. Its very fulfilling. Its also very tiring but absolutely worth it. I always think that I'd love to perform again but I don't know whether I should do that or something else.

3. Journalism. Writing has always been a little flame burning in me. Its still flickering but since starting this blog I've realized how much I really enjoy it. People read my blog and tell me they like it and that I should be a writer and I think "its just me letting out what's in my head, what's so special about that??" But then I realize, I like writing. Its fun to make up stories and poke fun at yourself through mindless rants on persexican.blogspot.com. :-) but is my blog as far as I should take it? Is my blog as far as I COULD take it? I don't know. I always fumble through old notebooks and journals that have randomly placed bits of poetry about what I was feeling on any given day and I think "I wrote that?! Where did that come from?" Maybe I have multiple personalities and one of them was related to Hemingway. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe.

4. The black sheep. This is one that I think my dad would truly kill me if I pursued it. Fashion. I've always had an interest in it. I have, in my head, planned out my denim line (FortuneJeans........don't steal my idea), because we all know how much I love a good pair of jeans. I would LOVE to have my own clothing line and make clothes that fit real people. I feel like I know what the market needs and I think that, if given the chance, I could provide it. Also, as I mentioned before, being the head honcho at GQ would make me cry everyday. Tears of joy. Many, many tears of joy.

Assist me, tell me what to do.
FF

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Its supposed to be a sandcastle, in case you couldn't tell. I thought it came out really good. What do you think?
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I just dropped my blackberry and I feel like smacking my head against a wall because it didn't have a rubber on (i.e.unprotected). There are now 3 (THREE) areas of damage along with one marking on the back that mysteriously appeared sometime yesterday. Functionally, its ok. But my berry is tainted. Its no longer perfect. :-( oh well....my birthday party was yesterday and I'm sure you all want to hear how it was........................it was ok. I was happy that a majority of the people who rsvp'd showed up. The rest of them however (about 25 people) rsvp'd and failed to show up. I am not gonna lie, I'm pretty pissed off about it. I ordered food for 80 people and at the last minute (due to the number of people who rsvp'd) I ordered even more dinner servings. I spent a total of $850 on food for people who didn't even bother to let me know they were lying when they said they were coming. Only one person had the courtesy and respect to inform me of their absence (T, thanks). Just for the record, I wouldn't have been upset if you had told me you weren't coming. I would have said "thanks for letting me know" and then immediately called the caterer to cancel the extra portions. The unnecessary expenditures of this party were in the 400 dollar range. I'll be accepting checks from those of you who rsvp'd and didn't show.

On the bright side, this was a birthday that my dad did NOT ruin. On my 18th birthday, my dad took away my credit cards and grounded me. I snuck out anyway. On 19 and 20, he didn't completely ruin them but he was a buzzkill because of his pointless random arguments and complaints. On my 21st birthday, which started out as the best birthday EVER! because Shakira opened the U.S. leg of her tour here in El Paso ON my birthday, my dad took my car away right before the concert. He couldn't wait until the next day, or maybe the week after, no, he took it ONE hour before the concert FOR NO VALID REASON!!! My 22nd birthday was not included in this because I was in San Diego and he was not present to ruin anything. Haha! So this year, he actually helped me have a better party. He was completely willing to give me his credit card to purchase items for the party. The whole time he was there, he was being helpful and playful instead of analytical and criticizing everything. So thanks Dad for not ruining this one.

Amen,
FF
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Last night got a little too heavy for me. I was busy most of the night preparing things for my party for today but I decided that I wanted to be out by midnight with my birthday drink in hand. Well, I was out at 1130 with many, many birthday drinks in hand. I have learned a lesson and here it is.........just because its your birthday does NOT mean you are invisible to intoxication. I took "birthday shot" after "birthday shot" after"birthday shot" etc. I think I had about 8 or 9 birthday shots in a timespan of about 1 1/2 hrs. That was insane for me to do and although I had fun with everyone that was there (naomi, steve, karla, beverly leslie and jenn) tonight, at my party, I will defenitely be turning things down a notch. Sorry to anyone that expected to see me mindblowingly drunk but I can't do that 2 nights in a row. I hate throwing up and I did all over the Farsh's car last night. So gross. Now, I am going to shower and begin final preparations for my party tonight. Be there or be an A-hole.

Itsmybrthday!!!!
FF
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And now they arepkayiing suavementew asd the last song, c an you tell I a little durnkIizzzle??? I feel like I may fall over at any moment. I hope I don't throw up!!! But its my birthday soi don't care!!!!!!!
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I just thought I should let you know, I WAS going to do a full blog but I'm too tired right now. Its almost 2 am and I have to be up at 7am. But I will leave you with this, on my way home tonight I was thinking about what I REALLY want to do for my birthday and it actually doesn't include this big party I'm throwing. I would really like to just be alone. Go to the movies, eat some popcorn with extra butttttah! I don't know why. I'd rather not just not do anything exciting. But oh well, I already paid the caterers.

Oh Bother,
FF
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Pobresita mi Belita!!! My little baby Bela got sick today. I don't know what's wrong with her and I feel like an actual parent. I can't sleep cuz I keep trying to figure out what's wrong with her. I keep wondering if she's ok and then I get out of bed to check on her and she's sleeping safe and sound. At least I hope she's sleeping! Wait.........her chest is moving, its all good, she's alive! I told my mom about it and she said that's how she was when we were kids and we got sick. Aaaawwww.......que cuted! Then my mom saw what I was watching on TLC. It was a show about these siamese twins and my mom literally screamed! She seemed to be scared of what she saw. I couldn't believe she freaked out so much!!! The look on her face was priceless. She was astounded and shocked that there could be one body with 2 heads. Yeah its pretty freaky but she's 45!!!! You'd think she's seen this kind of thing before. On a lighter note, I got my first birthday gift today. :-) it was a cologne (burberry brit) AND cash. From the same person. Now THAT'S how you give a gift! Haha! And it was a lot of cash too! $120. That's a lot considering they already gave me a cologne. But hey, if they wanna give it, who am I to stop them?!? I did think $120 was a weird amount though. Its like they meant to give me $100 but miscounted the bills. Not that I'm complaining! Its just a weird number. Now back to a bit more of a morose note, my mom thinks I'm depressed. Sara also suggested that I might be depressed. The more people tell me it, the more I'll feel it!! Maybe I'm just moody! BACK UP OUT MY KOOL-AID!!!! Heehee. I have very much been in a "I-just-don't-wanna-get-out-of-bed" mood lately. Also a "I-don't-wanna-go-out-and-see-anyone" mood. But I don't think that means I'm depressed. I don't have anything to be depressed about! My birthday is in 4 days!! I'm gonna be 23. There's gonna be a fantastic party!! Dalit is coming for the party!!!! And Karla is here!! The only ones missing are Joey and Cecilia!! :-( But I have a lot to look forward to. Although, I did notice some wrinkles on my forehead. Maybe that's it. Its the wrinkles. Those depressing wrinkles.....

Is it too early for Botox??
FF
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More than one person have asked that I post a "wishlist" because we all know that I am hard to shop for. This is going to be a small wish list and I am not posting it on the birthday blog because I don't want people to think I'm expecting or demanding gifts. (But then again, who doesn't like getting gifts?!). So here it is. If what you were thinking of getting me is on there, congrats, you know me well. If its not but you already bought it, I'll accept anything with a gift receipt.

- cash (as you know, I'm trying to save money for school.)
- cologne (marc jacobs, jean paul gaultier, prada)
- ANYTHING for the wii. (i.e. Rock band, wii fit, singing games, the white microphone which is currently available at best buy, etc)
- gift cards (express, dillards, aldo, TARGET!!!, ulta, simon visas, etc)
- cookbooks. I really like the top chef one, which is currently available at barnes and noble, but really any cookbook will do.
- anything you think I'd like. I'd like to think that its the thought that counts...........HA! I can't even say that with a straight face!! Jk! Jk!

In conclusion, you really don't have to get me anything. If you just come to my party and have a good time, I really will be just as happy as if you walked in with 10 bottles of Marc Jacobs cologne. ;-)

5 Days!!!!!
FF
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Like the corner of my mind. Misty water colored mem'ries, of the way we weeeeerrreeee. Ok so I'm gonna tell you all what happened this week. It all seems very strange to me but I don't know why. If you've known me for a while, you'll remember that I used perform with a local theatre group. It was honestly a fantastic time in my life. I felt like I was where I was supposed to be because it was truly like a family. We were all very close and always there for each other. One day, everything got turned upside down and I will not go into details but I got kicked out. I always assumed that I was really not allowed back in. It would have been awkward for me to return to something that I had been run out of. This week I received a couple of comments on myspace that seemed strange to me. From the time I got kicked out, about a year ago, I have very sparsely kept in contact with the owners. Just occasional messages now and then but nothing on a regular basis. I suppose that's why it seemed so strange that earlier this week, I received the first comment, something along the lines of "we'd like you to come see the show. We've got tickets for you at the front. Everyone wants to see you". It seemed to me like a friendly gesture. Maybe a sort of "white flag". I replied with "thanks! I'll be there friday". Shortly thereafter, they replied "...we've got a gift for you!" What? A gift? A gift?! (I'm not gonna lie, I love gifts. But this seemed weird to me.) I didn't reply and I just figured I would put on a happy face when I went to see their show on friday. So, friday rolls along and Karla, being the wonderful, loyal friend that she is, came with me to see the show. When I walked in, I was so nervous! I don't know why but I really felt a little sick to my stomach. Then I saw familiar faces and I didn't just put on a happy face, the happy face appeared on its own. I was genuinely happy to be there. Everyone had smiles on their faces and it was a great feeling to get to see so many old friends. The show was really funny. Great creativity and super funny lyrics. Seeing all those happy people on stage made me remember all the great times I had up there. People that I've known for a while have really matured as performers and improved exponentially. The newbies (at least to me) were pretty good too. A LOT of younger kids. I felt old knowing that I used to perform with some of them. Now I have a dilemma. I now remember how much I loved performing. Even though I got to perform with EPCC (which was fun too but not the same), I really miss performing with such a close knit group. My problem is that I don't know that I could go back. I've got a lot going on with work. I keep trying to get more hours ( but I can never seem to get there before 10 am) but I am full time anyway. I need to really save money for the school that I want to go to. I just.......I would love to perform again. I don't know. I'm lost. I need a vacation. I need to clear my head. I need to get away to a place where I don't know anyone and just think. Think. Think. Think. I'll need a lot of painkiller to get rid of the massive headaches with all that thinking but nevertheless, I need to think.

Think,
FF
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