Memories........

Like the corner of my mind. Misty water colored mem'ries, of the way we weeeeerrreeee. Ok so I'm gonna tell you all what happened this week. It all seems very strange to me but I don't know why. If you've known me for a while, you'll remember that I used perform with a local theatre group. It was honestly a fantastic time in my life. I felt like I was where I was supposed to be because it was truly like a family. We were all very close and always there for each other. One day, everything got turned upside down and I will not go into details but I got kicked out. I always assumed that I was really not allowed back in. It would have been awkward for me to return to something that I had been run out of. This week I received a couple of comments on myspace that seemed strange to me. From the time I got kicked out, about a year ago, I have very sparsely kept in contact with the owners. Just occasional messages now and then but nothing on a regular basis. I suppose that's why it seemed so strange that earlier this week, I received the first comment, something along the lines of "we'd like you to come see the show. We've got tickets for you at the front. Everyone wants to see you". It seemed to me like a friendly gesture. Maybe a sort of "white flag". I replied with "thanks! I'll be there friday". Shortly thereafter, they replied "...we've got a gift for you!" What? A gift? A gift?! (I'm not gonna lie, I love gifts. But this seemed weird to me.) I didn't reply and I just figured I would put on a happy face when I went to see their show on friday. So, friday rolls along and Karla, being the wonderful, loyal friend that she is, came with me to see the show. When I walked in, I was so nervous! I don't know why but I really felt a little sick to my stomach. Then I saw familiar faces and I didn't just put on a happy face, the happy face appeared on its own. I was genuinely happy to be there. Everyone had smiles on their faces and it was a great feeling to get to see so many old friends. The show was really funny. Great creativity and super funny lyrics. Seeing all those happy people on stage made me remember all the great times I had up there. People that I've known for a while have really matured as performers and improved exponentially. The newbies (at least to me) were pretty good too. A LOT of younger kids. I felt old knowing that I used to perform with some of them. Now I have a dilemma. I now remember how much I loved performing. Even though I got to perform with EPCC (which was fun too but not the same), I really miss performing with such a close knit group. My problem is that I don't know that I could go back. I've got a lot going on with work. I keep trying to get more hours ( but I can never seem to get there before 10 am) but I am full time anyway. I need to really save money for the school that I want to go to. I just.......I would love to perform again. I don't know. I'm lost. I need a vacation. I need to clear my head. I need to get away to a place where I don't know anyone and just think. Think. Think. Think. I'll need a lot of painkiller to get rid of the massive headaches with all that thinking but nevertheless, I need to think.

Think,
FF
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