Have you ever had someone confuse you for someone else? Have you ever had a person think that you were something that you weren’t? I remember a time when people confused me for being gay on a very regular basis. I’ll admit that I am not as masculine as some of the other straight guys out there, but I am not feminine either. I have found a happy medium and I am happy with who I am. I remember during high school, my friends and I would go to Mexico to party and dance. I saw a girl from my school that I was interested in and started to dance with her. We danced for about 20 minutes when she decided to tell me that she was happy I was gay because she couldn’t “dance like this with a straight guy”. I was in shock! I didn’t know that to say. I couldn’t just walk away even though I felt like I should. I had to clear the air around this little rumor. I immediately pulled her off the dance floor and explained to her that I was straight. I proceeded to ask her why she would say that to me and she said, “ It’s just that you dress really well and you’re really nice.” I quickly replied with “Thanks!...but since when does that make you gay?!” We finally fixed the situation and the night ended well. After that night, I got to thinking – why should I have to continually explain myself to people!? Now I know why…..because people don’t get it! Metrosexual does not equal gay!!!!
Maybe I’ll just tell you about a few of the instances in which I have been mistaken for a gay man. Believe it or not, it goes all the way back to 7th grade. That would add up to just about 11 years. Admittedly, no one back then actually thought I was honestly gay, they just called me that because they couldn’t come up with anything better and I was the easiest target. But throughout the years, the torment has just grown and, in my opinion, spiraled out of control.
You’ve already heard about the high-school-dance-floor situation so I’ll move on to my first year in college, 2004. That was when I actually started to get hit on by people of the same sex. It was very strange. I was away from home, going to school and working full time in California, so obviously I was always tired and low on cash. Whenever I needed coffee I would go to my favorite place, The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, where they had THE best white chocolate mocha. The problem was that each one of those was about five bucks. I realized one day that the male cashier was hitting on me; I decided to go ahead and take advantage of the situation (call me what you want but I got free drinks!). Never did it go any further than witty banter at the coffee counter and then I started to realize how insanely wrong that was for me to do. I never went into that coffee shop again.
After coming back to El Paso, I got a job at a medical office where one of the department heads happened to be gay. Three weeks later, he started to hit on me through text message. Needless to say, I mentioned the situation to my supervisor and the “assailant” was soon fired. All of these situations not only make me very uncomfortable but they force me turn off my social radar. It has been five years since I’ve had a girlfriend. I have tuned out the thought of ANYONE hitting on me so I don’t realize if a girl is hitting on me. These events have taken a serious mental toll on me and it is about time that I get back in the game. My only problem now is that I have become “socially retarded”.
I don’t understand the reason people may think a person who dresses well, keeps clean and practices proper etiquette is gay. It’s a sad thing that people have forgotten that gentlemen still exist. Is the term used to describe a man who enjoys taking good care of himself a little too gay in and of itself? Perhaps the term “commonsensical” should be used in cases like this. A man who keeps himself up to a certain standard of living need not be classified as gay or metrosexual -- this man needs to be considered a sensible human being who is aware and courteous to those around him. No one wants to look at or stand next to a person who smells and looks like trailer-trash. Guys, give them something good to look at! Looking good is not gay, metro or rocket science. It’s simply a matter of good judgment. The next time a girl (or guy) confuses you for being gay, tell her (or him) that you’re just ”commonsensical.”
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