Oops...I Did It Again.

Damnit!!!!! Damnit damnit damnit! I'm addicted! I can't stop eating. I really can't stop eating. I just went out for no more than 2 hours with Karla and Leslie and I couldn't effing stop myself from going to Taco Bell. I wasn't even hungry really I need therapy. Today, when I got home from work, I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I had to try SO HARD to not eat a whole pack of oreos with peanut butter. Maybe I had just a couple of the.m [:-)] Then I had a plate of persian food with MUCH more rice than I really should have eaten. I need to stop eating so much! I love food but I feel like I may be getting to the point where I'm actually obsessed with food. When I see it, I have to eat it. If I don't, I get extremely quiet, grumpy, moody, etc. I turn into a little kid who didn't get the toy he wanted. I don't know what it is. Maybe since I have stopped shopping so much I need something to fill the void?! I don't know! What I do know is that its driving me crazy and I need to cut back. I know I can do it. I need help with it but I know I can. The day before yesterday, I ALMOST went to krispy kreme and I'm sure that if I would have gone, at least 8 donuts would have disappeared. I used this new thing called "will-power" and stopped myself from going there only to get a 3 Musketeers bar and totally hoover it down. Just the other day, I ate almost 3/4 of a bag of Veggie Stix (equivalent to a family size bag of Lay's) in about 45 minutes! Not only did I eat all that but I ate it while I was standing in front of the tv. Hey, stabding burns calories, right? If I don't stop myself, I don't know what might happen to me. I need to eat healthier. If I am going to eat so much, it might as well be something good, right?! Also, I ate an ENTIRE pack of Oreo's in one sitting, only because I was mindlessly eating. I didn't even realize how many I had eaten until I reached into the bowl and they were all gone! If anyone out there has suggestions for me to not be such an effing cow, please advise me. If you remember, a few posts back I spoke about a bet that we had going on in our office pertaining to weight loss. Well, let's just say I'll most likely have to kiss my $50 goodbye.

With a tear in my eye and a mexican pizza on my mind,
FF
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