Thanks for the Memories.

I've been sitting at home watching old home movies for about an hour and a half. In this time, I've relived some moments that have almost brought me to tears. I don't know if they are tears because I am still very much a child on the inside, or tears because I feel so effing old. I've, in a way, seen my life flash before my eyes. My first kiss (which just so happened to be on my first birthday, haha!), a tour of my childhood home, my birth (not the actual delivery but the day of, I didn't even have a name yet), numerous birthday parties and embarrassing old footage. AND my first commercials! They are ridiculous! The most ridiculous thing of all though is that my dad was not the one taking the video. True, he was in parts of various videos, but he was never behind the camera and at times, he wasn't even there! The funny thing is that my Uncle Hellman was the one that recorded almost all of the videos. You hear him encouraging us, laughing with us, making jokes, etc. Aren't those the kinds of things that dads should do (for their own children?) So even though I'm almost positive that my Uncle Hellman will never read my blog, I'd like to just put this out there, thank you. Thank you for being there with us, apparently since the beginning.

As I continue watching these videos, my eyes keep welling up with tears. As its happening, I think to myself "why are you crying?!" And the only answer is, "I don't know". Why in the world would I cry about old home movies in which everything was fun and happy?! This just makes me feel more and more like I may be depressed and I don't know why. Also, people at work are now telling me almost daily that I look so tired. I'm not that tired!!!!! If my face shows it, I really don't mean it to. Although now its 1:32 on a Tuesday night and I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. I can't think anymore.

God is Love,
Rev Fraz
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