Normal-Ish....;

As of late, my life has been somewhat of a topsy-turvy carnival where all of lifes mishaps come to feast. A place where emotions are present but hardly ever invited. I have been in what can only be called a downward slump. I was in a situation where I thought I knew exactly what I wanted.......but apparently I was wrong. I was in a position in which my faith was tested (but then again, who isn't in a situation like that almost everyday?). I was in a situation where I thought to myself, "what am I doing here?!", and not in a meaning-of-life kind of way but more of a who-would-care-if-i-was-gone kind of way. I had thoughts in my head that no one should ever have. I was thinking of ways to kill myself but trying to make it look like an accident so people would remember me in a good way, not in a way that "he was depressed [which means crazy]". (Don't read too much into this....I'm depressed but I'm also very shallow, I could never kill myself......I'd worry too much about the mess of blood that would have to be cleaned up! Lol!) Anyway, I can't lie and say I'm over all that but I can say, I'm feeling a little better. I figured it was about time for an update. I know you've all been wondering and no, I don't wear underwear on tuesdays. Jk!!! I know you've been thinking "I wonder when Farzad is leaving to culinary school". Well, sadly, I will not be going after all. Unfortunately, this time its all my fault, especially since my dad didn't even know about it. I tried but I could not find any kind of financial aid since my parents still claim me on their tax information. The most I was able to save was $5,000 (with an EXTREME amount of help from my mom) and that would only cover the cost of MAYBE 3 months of living. I was nowhere close to where I needed to be financially. BUT, I am looking into other options for schooling. I'm very excited about a few of the options but I'm not going to say what they are yet. I don't want to jinx anything, as I usually tend to do. Just pray that things work out. I'm sure one day I'll finally settle on something for my life but for now, I'm happy being mediocre. (Ok, I'm lying!! But at least I've got the theatre back so I have some kind of outlet for my emotions!!)

At Least I'm Semi-Normal, (??)
FF
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