10 days.....

Since my dad has spoken to me. Since then, it seems that he takes any precautionary measures to avoid me. As do I. I purposely avoid him in order to avoid confrontation and pointless arguments. My mom keeps trying to get me to "release my anger" but I keep trying to tell her that I'm not angry. I'm sad. How would you feel if your father wasn't talking to you?! It not even that he is not talking to me, its that he purposely ignores me. The other day, at my cousins birthday party, I saw him do the most childish thing (as if the ingoring wasn't childish enough). He looked to the line of people getting food (which I was in) saw me, and sat down. He watched and waited until I got back to my table so he could get up and serve himself. Wtf?! He is such a baby. But seriously, whatev. I really don't care anymore. Last week I was freaking out so much that I had to mooch xanax from a friend and now I realize, its not that bad. Now I am guaranteed to be left alone. No more arguments. I don't have to share anything with him......I could walk by with a dozen donuts, savoring one with glaze falling to the ground as I take each bite, and not have to offer him anything. I know that makes him so upset, but he won't say anything because he's too proud. Remember kids, that's one of the seven deadly sins. Mmmm......donuts. I can't believe that I am in all of this crap with my dad and there are people that don't even have dads. People that have lost their fathers. People who's fathers are holding on to their life with everything they've got in them. My mom told me today that the machines that are keeping my uncle in Colorado alive will be turned off on friday. This pains me so much to even think of what my cousins are going through. And if I haven't said this before, its not my actual uncle or my actual cousins but we've kinda grown up together so that's how we feel about each other. And we call him Ali Daee (which means uncle ali in persian). Then again, all us persians are related one way or another. Its like six degrees of kevin bacon but with persians. I can't imagine the world without Ali. He is such a generous person. Always so loving and caring for everyone. Honestly, as I've grown up seeing them on a lot of holidays and spending a lot of time with them, I've seen that not all persian dads are like my dad. I don't understand how he could have come from the same country as my dad. He is so nice!!! All the time. And you know it because his kids truly love him....not just because they have to. You can hear it when they talk about him and you can see it when they are all together. This should not have happened to him. And I'm not saying that anything like this should ever happen to anyone, I'm just saying that he, of all people, deserves to be with his family and friends. He lives a good life because he is a good person. Good people don't deserve to be put in situations like this, no one does. I am now asking you, my trusty reader(s) to pray for him and his family. To give them peace, comfort and strength. If you are catholic, christian, jewish, whatever. Just pray. Or do what you do to help people. Miracles do happen and I truly believe that Ali Daee deserves one.

Pray,
FF
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