I Just Pulled The Trigger....

and possibly killed my self. or at least my life. i just told my dad that i am going to culinary school....whether he likes it or not. i dont have the stones to tell him face to face (but you'd understand if you knew him when he's angry) so i sent him an email. maybe this wasnt the best way to go about telling him. now i have to wait until he reads it. i have no idea when he'll check his email so i am shitting more than bricks right now. i am shitting the brick house made by one of the three little pigs. i was on a diet up until about ten minutes ago. i cant go without food right now. i am too stressed out. AAAHHHHH!!!!im freaking out on the inside. i cant freak out out loud cuz im at work and i dont want my freaking out to freak other people out. freaky freakin freakidy freaker. so if you dont hear from me by the end of the day tomorrow, send help. and can you imagine if my dad doesnt check his email today?! how ridiculous would that be?? i would have to talk to him at home and have the thought in my head that i am about to crush him and act like nothing is wrong. this is making me go insane. i dont think i am going to accomplish much at work today. i think maybe i should prepare an info sheet so my dad knows more about where i am going and waht is happening. or maybe i should just prepare my funeral plans. that way everything goes exactly as i want it to. i want shakira songs playing. and it would be nice if she could be there.

:-(
FF